This is kind of a personal post. I don't generally write personal things for the world to see, but this one I feel needs to be shared. It may not connect with any of you, so disregard it as rubbish if that is the case.
Here goes...
I'm the oldest of 5. I'm the big sister! Being the oldest at times comes with a certain feeling that one knows all about life and how it should be done! I have seen my siblings or even friends doing things that I have not agreed with and then at times felt the need to show them a better way. I believe that this is a very natural human desire. That is, the need to fix the problems of those we care about. We love them and we do not want to see them get hurt, so we can feel at times the need to share our experiences in life with them regardless of whether they want it or not. But, the truth is...We are all different people! We have all had very different experiences that make us do the things we do. It is these experiences that lead us to make the choices in life that we make.
So I'm learning something...To let go! To enjoy the differences in others! Not to expect them to be just like me or even learn from my experiences.
As humans, we can't help but notice what others do in their lives. Unfortunately this can lead to criticism which can be very hurtful! Especially when the people that we love and care about the most disapprove of the way we have chosen our life path. One could look at my life and ask: Why on earth would you want to live with your parents for 4 years? Or why would you want to risk life and limb to move half way around the globe from family and friends? Can one ever give an answer to such questions that will be satisfactory to a person that has chosen a different life? The problem is that any explanation given comes directly from a unique experience and so is likely to not have meaning to others. We are each on a distinct life path, and each path is different from all others and leads to a completely different world view.
So, I've learned another thing...I have to let others judge me! If someone chooses to think that I am crazy, that is their choice. I have to let go of that too. It is natural to get upset, angry, and hurt when one feels a judgment has been made on ones choices. However, letting go means allowing others to do and think as they wish.
In letting go there is so much freedom! I find that it has lifted the dark cloud of worry that others will make the wrong choice and do something I don't agree with, completely messing up their life. Or that I will do something that they will not approve of. In truth people do make choices that actually do mess up their lives, but I must let go of even that, as I also have the freedom to "mess up my life". It means loving someone and accepting them even when they make a choice contrary to what we feel to be right. Completely and without reservation loving them through their own life experiences. And the hardest of all, it means loving them when we have been judged, weighed in the balances and found wanting.
Maybe this is just an idyllic concept. Maybe in reality we will always look at the lives of others through lenses of our own experience. Maybe we are doomed to never truly accept others for who they are. But, I like to think that we can change. I like to think that we can learn to accept each other and the differences and love unconditionally. I think really, it must be this way! After all, God allows free choice. He allows us to do things that don't fit into his ideal plan for us. Even allowing us the choice to not believe there is a God. (And I give you freedom to think I'm crazy for believing, and I give you the freedom to not believe). Trying to control each others thoughts and actions is a work in futility. We were made to be singular, unique individuals.
Feel free to disagree with me. Add your comments and correct me if I'm wrong. Maybe I'm the only one that thinks about such things. Maybe this is a lesson you have learned years and years ago and are saying to yourself, "I'm so glad she finally figured it out!!". So, maybe this is a post to myself to remind me. But, really I want it to be a post from my heart to yours, to let you know that I accept you, and love you without regard for who you are or what choices you have made. And I love you no matter what you think of me.
So there you have it. The deep inner workings of my thoughts. Disregard, or take it to heart, it is your choice.
Thank you so much, Lizzy! I needed this. I've been struggling with making decisions for my life. It seems that everything I want to do, a family member or friend doesn't agree with. My dreams aren't quite "practical" in other people's eyes. I finally woke up and realized how silly I was being, letting someone else hold my life in their hands, when the only one who should be holding it, is God. They don't know my heart like my Creator and Heavenly Father does, just like I don't know theirs. One of my biggest dreams, is to work with orphans as a single young woman. People have told me that it's unwise for many different reasons, but I feel like God is calling me to that work for now. Reading your post helped me realize that just like I should let people be who they are, I shouldn't let other people determine who I am or what I do. Again, thank you! It was so encouraging to know that someone else who is older, has struggled or still somewhat struggling with the same thing. Hope all is well with you and your family! I miss seeing your smiling faces! Take care!
ReplyDeleteSo good to hear from you Elisa! Thank you for your comment. It so hard being young. Haahaa Everyone has an opinion on how your life should go. I must give one caution though, don't throw out all advise. Some is really good and can save you heart ache. However, sometimes we just have to learn for our own mistakes. So my advise would be to listen with an open mind, but to ultimately do what you feel God is leading you to do. I think it's awesome that you want to work in an orphanage! Living over seas I actually see more single young woman than single guys working in missions. It would be a great experience for you! Of course no matter where you are in the world you must be careful, so just always be wise about what you do and where you go, or not! haahaa It's you choice. :) Blessings as you continue this exciting adventure of life!
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