13 things I've learned while living in Lebanon

Driving tips

1. When in traffic, don't go with the flow! That is just too boring. Get in there and force your way through or you'll never get anywhere!

2. Honk a lot!! If you find yourself stopped in traffic and you feel people should be moving, just honk! You never know, maybe someone fell asleep in their car and they need you to wake them up!  Or there has been an accident and people need to be made aware that they are holding things up!

3. Rev your engine and squeel your wheels whenever you can! People love to hear the power of your engine! The middle of the night is a great time to do this because all is quiet and more people can hear it.

4. While driving down the freeway don't let the white lines on the road stress you out! Those really are just suggestions. If it's more convenient to straddle two lanes, feel free to do so.

Social tips

5. Don't be jelouse of the man holding your husbands hand! This is only a sign of friendship with no strings attached. No really, it's ok!

6. There are no lines! If you can get to the front first you win! So get in and push your way through!

7. Expect to serve and be served tea or coffee after a meal. A very nice tradition more people in the world should adopt.

8. Parties should always be at max volume! The whole neighborhood should know you are having a good time!

9. Don't be shocked at all the littering. If you see pizza boxes with half eaten pizza flying out your neighbors apartment window this is normal. Everyone else does it, besides someone needs to feed the wild scavenger cats!

10. If you should be so lucky as to live over a grocery store or convenece shop and find yourself in need of something below, just lower a basket with your order and money and it will be taken care of! All without having to leave the comfort of your own home!

Safety tips

11. Relax while in Lebanon! Stop looking over your shoulder like a crockpot bomb is about to go off or a sniper riffle is trained on your forehead! For Americans, this only happens in the U.S! 

12. Don't go into Hezbollah areas unless you must! Even if you do, there isn't a big target on your back! You just don't want to be caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. You will know when you are in Hezbollah areas, there are checkpoints, flags, and signs everywhere. Don't ask me how I know that!

13. Don't be too surprised if people express fear in traveling to the U.S. due to all the shootings, robberies, and kidnappings! Never underestimate the power of the media to freak people out!

A piece of advice
Please, no matter your country of origin, respect the culture you find yourself living in! Just because they do things differently than your country, does not make them less civilized! Try to see life through their eyes and learn how to adapt to new ways. Most of the world would like to think that only Americans are ethnocentric and I admit that I have seen many Americans have such a view. I have, however, seen this attitude in more than just Americans, trust me! Stop judging the world around you through your own glasses. Take them off, and try on another pair! I promise you will enjoy the experience so much more!! And for heavens sake, if you aren't willing to learn their language, don't expect them to know yours!!!!    
 
I have found Lebanon to be a very warm and welcoming country. I am so thankful for the life enriching experience the last 3 months has been for me and my family. If I had it all to do over again, I still would have made the same decision to come to Lebanon. Of course you expect me to say that, but I really mean it! Every life experience is shaping and growing us into what we become in the future. So get on, and enjoy the ride!    

Goodbye Lebanese home

I know, it's been a long time! Sorry about the silence from Lebanon. Morning sickness this time around has been pretty tough. Doing much of anything outside of taking care of the bare necessities of life has been just too overwhelming. Therefore, blogging has had to be put on hold.

It's hard to believe that 3 months has already gone by! Sadly our contract here in Lebanon has come to an end. We are working on some other options with ADRA, but will be taking our return flight back to the U.S to work out details. We've made some wonderful friends here, and will be sad to leave them behind! Thankfully facebook makes the distance not seem quite so far.

I did say I'd give you a walk through of our house here. I know, I should have done it way sooner, but better late then never! The only pictures I have are the ones from when we first moved in, so the house does not look lived in, but you'll just have to be happy with what I have!

These aren't good pictures of the kitchen. At this point we actually had not moved in yet so we were still putting things away and getting the apartment ready.

Here you can see my two sinks. One is city water, the other is the water from out of the reserve tank on the roof of the building. Also, the washing machine is in the kitchen which is kind of nice! The close dry out on the line in the sun, though now that it is raining so much I've had to move them inside to dry on a rack.

 Our cozy little living room/dining room.

Our room and the children's room. Furniture just delivered.

 Obviously the bathroom. My only complaint about the bathroom is the occasional sewage smell that comes up the drain! When it gets especially bad I can't even go in there or I'll throw up due to nausea and my increased sense of smell! Not fun!

The front porch and two small garden areas.

The burned out car is not the results of a bomb! It just caught on fire for no apparent reason one day. It will probably remain there till it rusts into the ground.

So there you have it. The place we've called home for the past 3 months. Lebanon is an amazing place, wonderful people, great food, beautiful scenery, truly a great experience. 

Good days and bad days

I’m finally back online!! It has taken a little while to get the internet turned on at our house. This is a blog I wrote from last week and will be posting a blog soon with pictures of our apartment.

Yesterday (October 8) was pretty rough! The day started out fine, I had a shopping trip planned to stock my new kitchen with all the necessary items for the culinary masterpieces I have planned. My friend picked me up and we headed off, first to the bulk food store for flour, beans, nuts, and spices. How I LOVE this store! Sacks and bins of everything you could possibly imagine. We made our purchases and made our way to the next store. Here is where the trouble started, Anastasia started fussing. At first I ignored it, but her fussing became more and more insistent until she was crying freely and asking to be held. I picked her up and realized she was quite warm with a fever. Great! I still had so much shopping to do! I limped along, sometimes having Marcus push the cart while I held her and other times just putting her down and praying she’d be ok for a minute so I could get through the rest of my list.

Finally I reached the end with frayed nerves. Just try shopping in a new country, in a store you aren’t quite familiar with and add a sick and crying baby on top and see how you feel. It was exhausting to say the least. Oh, and we were all hungry because shopping had run into lunch time.

It felt so wonderful to finally get back home! “I’ll put her in a warm bath while I get lunch,” I thought. I turned on the faucet but nothing came out! Great, what now?! Turns out each apartment has a water tank on the roof and when you run out you either have to call a water truck to come fill it, or wait till the city water slowly fills it back up again! The system seems quite broken to be honest. I have two faucets in my kitchen sink, one for city water and one for the water tank on the roof. The bathrooms use the water on the roof, but I don’t see why we can’t just have city water to the bathrooms too! I’ll have to talk to somebody about this! Ha I am thankful that at least I had one faucet that had water! Otherwise I have no idea what I would have done. So, no hot bath for the sick baby.

Later I decided to make some soy milk. My machine got half way through the process then quit for no apparent reason! (It’s working fine now, so no big worry!) The power went off at some point also, which is normal. There are generators that kick on when it goes out so it usually isn’t a big problem.

Meanwhile, Anastasia has woken up from her nap feeling quite a bit better, thankfully! However, she takes it upon herself to do all she can to get into trouble. She spilled all 249 Q-tips on the bathroom floor. Found the only lipstick I brought with me and bites off a big chunk of it, apparently it tastes good because she chewed it up and swallowed it as fast as she could so I couldn’t take it from her! Should I be worried? She’s still alive so I guess not!

I’m tripping over suitcases not yet emptied into the dressers, groceries all over the floor, a baby that keeps getting sick, a boy that needs my attention. A new culture and home to adjust too, it all added up and overflowed!

To top it off, Seth had to work late! I’m usually fine with that, but of all days I needed relief!

Another friend stopped by that evening with medicine for Anastasia! I just started crying!

Before you just chalk all this up to womanhood, realize this is just part of adjusting. Yes, it was a stressful day, but all the newness can be extremely taxing on a person, physically, emotionally, and mentally draining. I don’t think we realize even how difficult it can be to adjust. I knew I would have days like this, and though they are hard to take, it’s just part of the process!

I’m so happy to report that today was AWESOME!! Through the night the tank filled on the roof so I was able to shower! And bathe Anastasia! And wash clothes! And flush the toilet! Oh happy day! The electricity did go out a couple times and stayed off for longer than normal, but it was ok, I had plenty to do that didn’t need electricity! Then I made tofu with my super awesome soymilk maker!! Yeah, I’m not in Asia any more, tofu is not being sold on every street corner. (Sad face!) Making my own is fun and so much better anyway! Cooked a yummy Chinese stir-fry with the fresh tofu, everyone claimed it was the best meal so far! Made bread with the kids, but it hasn’t been cooked yet. It can sit in the fridge for days, they say it just tastes better the longer it sits. Honestly though, I haven’t figured out how to light my oven so I hope they are right about the bread  just getting better with age!  And all the suitcases…EMPTIED!!! Except for Seth’s, I think he’s holding out in hopes I’ll unpack it for him! Haha We’ll see…

Sliced tofu

Tofu block

Oh, and Anastasia does seem to be feeling better! I hope whatever she has goes for good! I think she has had the hardest time adjusting. Poor baby. Sickness and then not understanding that we are too far away from grandparents and uncles and auntie and cousin to go see them, has been hard for her. When we were packing up our suitcases to move out of the dorm to our new house, she got all excited because she thought we were getting on the airplane to go home.

Marcus loves it so far! I almost think he is happier here. He misses family and friends of course, we all do, but he was born in another country and has lived half his life as a 3^rd culture kid. Travel and adventure is in his blood!

There are still good days and bad days ahead, but I’ll just take each day as it comes and keep reminding myself that this is normal, I’m not actually going crazy! No smart comments on that now! Haahaa             

Update(October 14)…I finally figured out how to light my oven! Baked the bread and it turned out great!! It is a bit of a challenge to figure out the exact temperature to set the oven at though, it doesn’t have any markings! I haven’t burnt anything yet, so I must be doing something right!       

Anastasia is over whatever she had, FINALLY!

And ALL the suitcases are emptied! Yeah, I finally gave in and helped Seth empty his. Such a good wife! haahaa

The theory of letting go

This is kind of a personal post. I don't generally write personal things for the world to see, but this one I feel needs to be shared. It may not connect with any of you, so disregard it as rubbish if that is the case.

Here goes...

I'm the oldest of 5. I'm the big sister! Being the oldest at times comes with a certain feeling that one  knows all about life and how it should be done! I have seen my siblings or even friends doing things that I have not agreed with and then at times felt the need to show them a better way. I believe that this is a very natural human desire. That is, the need to fix the problems of those we care about. We love them and we do not want to see them get hurt, so we can feel at times the need to share our experiences in life with them regardless of whether they want it or not.  But, the truth is...We are all different people! We have all had very different experiences that make us do the things we do. It is these experiences that lead us to make the choices in life that we make.

So I'm learning something...To let go! To enjoy the differences in others! Not to expect them to be just like me or even learn from my experiences.

As humans, we can't help but notice what others do in their lives. Unfortunately this can lead to criticism which can be very hurtful! Especially when the people that we love and care about the most disapprove of the way we have chosen our life path. One could look at my life and ask: Why on earth would you want to live with your parents for 4 years? Or why would you want to risk life and limb to move half way around the globe from family and friends?  Can one ever give an answer to such questions that will be satisfactory to a person that has chosen a different life?  The problem is that any explanation given comes directly from a unique experience and so is likely to not have meaning to others. We are each on a distinct life path, and each path is different from all others and leads to a completely different world view. 

So, I've learned another thing...I have to let others judge me! If someone chooses to think that I am  crazy, that is their choice. I have to let go of that too. It is natural to get upset, angry, and hurt when one feels a judgment has been made on ones choices. However, letting go means allowing others to do and think as they wish.

In letting go there is so much freedom! I find that it has lifted the dark cloud of worry that others will make the wrong choice and do something I don't agree with, completely messing up their life. Or that I will do something that they will not approve of. In truth people do make choices that actually do mess up their lives, but I must let go of even that, as I also have the freedom to "mess up my life". It means loving someone and accepting them even when they make a choice contrary to what we feel to be right.  Completely and without reservation loving them through their own life experiences. And the hardest of all, it means loving them when we have been judged, weighed in the balances and found wanting.  

Maybe this is just an idyllic concept. Maybe in reality we will always look at the lives of others through lenses of our own experience. Maybe we are doomed to never truly accept others for who they are.  But, I like to think that we can change. I like to think that we can learn to accept each other and the differences and love unconditionally. I think really, it must be this way! After all, God allows free choice. He allows us to do things that don't fit into his ideal plan for us. Even allowing us the choice to not believe there is a God. (And I give you freedom to think I'm crazy for believing, and I give you the freedom to not believe). Trying to control each others thoughts and actions is a work in futility. We were made to be singular, unique individuals.

Feel free to disagree with me. Add your comments and correct me if I'm wrong. Maybe I'm the only one that thinks about such things. Maybe this is a lesson you have learned years and years ago and are saying to yourself, "I'm so glad she finally figured it out!!". So, maybe this is a post to myself to remind me. But, really I want it to be a post from my heart to yours, to let you know that I accept you, and love you without regard for who you are or what choices you have made. And I love you no matter what you think of me.

So there you have it. The deep inner workings of my thoughts. Disregard, or take it to heart, it is your choice.
                 

Laws of the road

 Sunday September 22
So on Sunday we had our first real adventure driving. We needed a few things from the grocery store which required a trip down the mountain. Our friends were away for the weekend and were so kind to leave us their car to use! We have not had a lot of time to go out here, or I should say Seth hasn't had the time to take us out. Yes, I know I could drive alone, but give me time! I'm still adjusting to the ways of the road. We don't know our way around yet, but have been out enough that we thought we could figure it out. With Seth as the driver and me as the navigator we set out.

We found our way with only one wrong turn! Pretty good I'd say for a first time.  

Really, the driving here isn't so bad. With just a few trips out on the road one learns very quickly what the rules are. The rules here are rather like the jungle rules, survival of the fittest! Drive like you are the only one on the road and you'll do fine! Start being too polite and you're likely to have an accident. Treat all traffic signals as mere suggestions, and if you want to merge you just have to stick your nose out there even if it looks like no one will stop for you! They will let you in if you force yourself in. Oh, and honk your horn a LOT!! People aren't being rude most of the time, it's just a great way to say "hey, I'm here where you may not be expecting me to be so beware."  

Below is a picture of us following another car through a red light. There was no one there at the light so why waste time sitting there?! Really, it makes sense, right? Haahaa

These are pictures of the street going up the hill to the University.

As you can see there isn't much good parking, so people park along the road and sometimes in the road if there isn't a convenient parking spot near the shop they need to go into. This can make driving a little more interesting making it necessary to swerve into the other lane to go around the parked cars. No one is upset about this, it's just the way it is.

 Tuesday September 24
 I had a little adventure all on my own today! Seth is away all day today in the refugee camps and I needed water! I know, it's a funny thing to need, isn't there water where you live? Well, yes there is even hot water right out of the tap! However, we can't drink it, or at least that is what I've been told, though some people have said they drink it. Who knows, but I'm not willing to risk it yet. So we have to buy our drinking water from the store. I'm not used to this yet, so last night we ran out of drinking water! I had hoped that my friend was going into town and I could just hitch a ride with her, but alas, she had already done her shopping the day before and didn't need to go, but I was welcome to take the car. I tried coming up with all kinds of ideas of why I couldn't go, but non would stick! We needed water! I took extra long getting ready to go, just psyching myself up. I didn't need to worry, I got there and back all in one piece!! I did a great job of swerving around the parked cars in the road, and squeezed past the trash truck that kept flashing it's lights at me. I'm still not sure what he expected me to do. Then I parked practically in the road just like everyone else! When I was finished I went down a side street to turn around to get back to the main road. The intersection was basically  gridlocked so I just waited till there was a little opening, stuck my nose out and got going in the right direction. Shew...I did it!!

All in all, I feel quite accomplished!   

 

Shopping adventures

Our first shopping trip wasn't much different than other shopping trips in other parts of the world. There are shopping carts and cashiers and isles full of food. However, something that may not be so common are tubs of olives, pickles and pickled vegetables of all kinds, and blocks and wheels of cheese. All the cheeses are white and the only one that looked familiar was the feta cheese. Of course we have all these things in the U.S, but not in most regular grocery stores. In Fresno, finding these items requires a trip across town to Whole Foods or to the middle eastern grocery. Humus, garlic butter, pita bread both small and VERY large, are easy to find. 

What might be a little less common, are all the foods I'm used to just grabbing off the shelf at the local Vons or Save Mart. Though, I must say, I am finding soooo many more "normal" things here than I did in Thailand and even Korea. Corn chips, bread, pickles (not the sweet kind!!), olives, and so many vegetables and fruits that are found in the U.S are also popular here! There are even cheerios, if you are willing to pay. These are the little things that make adjusting to the new environment easier.

Last week my friend Rosemary took me around and showed me all the best places to get the foods I might need. Now that was an adventure! I added my two children to her three and we had quite the entourage! All went well, except for when Anastasia found the hand soap I was purchasing and thought it would be fun to pump it all over her hands. But, really that isn't anything new, she would have done that in the States if I'd given her the chance!

Below is a picture of the ethnic foods section. You can find pasta sauce for about $5 for a small can, soy sauce, even refried beans and flour tortillas! I'll be making my own pasta sauce, it's way better than the canned version anyway! Beans can be found at a nearby bulk foods shop so I'll also be making my own refried beans! I may have to splurge on the flour tortillas, even if I have made those before it's not something I particularly enjoy doing.

So, after checking out, the guys that bagged our groceries carried them out to the car for us. My friend tipped her guy and I tipped mine. As soon as they had their money they suddenly jumped on each other and started fighting! Hitting and punching each other so violently! At first I thought it must be a common thing, but apparently not, because everyone stopped to watch and people rushed in to break up the fight. Just one more thing to add to my growing list of new and bizarre experiences.

Here is a picture of where I will be purchasing my fresh fruits and vegetables. It's just down the street from where our new house is so I'll be able to easily get the things I need. Peaches, plums, grapes, bananas, oranges, are all quite common so they are not expensive.    
   

What an adventure it is to explore our new surroundings. Figuring out how to make the foods we are familiar with, but also learning how to use and cook with the local foods. Today I made pasta with sauce, Marcus kept exclaiming how amazingly wonderful it was and how we will need to eat this often since it reminds him of home. Even Anastasia, who hasn't had much of an appetite since coming here due to sickness, wolfed down 2 bowls!    

Slowly but surely we are adjusting to our surroundings and in time will find all of the newness to be normal. 

Taking the leap

That moment when you are standing at the edge of a cliff with a shear drop off and you get this urge to jump. Most humans jump back in fear and wish someone would build a fence around the spot. And then others of us actually take the leap. After the thrill of the jump, there is a second moment that only those who take the leap know about. It's the fear of the unknown. Will it hurt when we hit the bottom? Of course it will! And those standing at the edge of the cliff watching you fall shout that you should have thought of that before you jumped off into oblivion!

There are many painful experiences that go with a move like we have just made. I like to look at it as a growth experience. As the saying goes, no pain no gain! It's all a part of the process of becoming a better you.

We landed in London after a very long 10 hour flight. Anastasia fought sleep for 2 hours, but then finally slept for the remainder of the flight. We had promised Marcus a quick trip out of the airport to see a few sights. Marcus was also excited to get a new stamp in his passport, how could we say no?! We only had a 5 hour layover so we were pushing our luck, but decided to chance it and go see Westminster Abby. We got the express train to Paddington station then bought tickets for the underground to Westminster. What fun it was to see Marcus' eyes light up with how enormous the Abby is, and how tall Big Ben is.

 Pictures just don't do it justice! We had a quick look around then raced back to catch the underground back to Paddington station and then the express back to the airport. All the while praying we wouldn't miss our flight, and regretting making the decision to leave the airport. We hurried through a short line at the security and then they informed us they had to search our carry-on luggage! Of course it would be searched now that we were running late! Apparently the regulations for liquids in the UK are different than the U.S. I had forgotten there was a little water in one of the water bottles, which they told us to take a drink in front of them proving we had not filled it with some explosive or other weapon of mass destruction. We had Marcus do the honors, further proving to them our complete innocence. Then they had to run tests on ALL the other liquids in my bag! I informed the nice lady that we were really worried about missing our flight, but she comforted me by saying she was sure we would be just fine. She really was nice. It was just a stressful situation. Finally we were on our way and arrived at our gate with 15 minutes till boarding! Shew! Note to self...popping out of the airport for a quick sight seeingtour takes way longer than it used to when it was just Seth and me!


Our next flight to Beirut was only 4 hours. So much more doable than 10! After landing, we collected all of our things except for the stroller, which somehow didn't make it (just found out we get to pick it up on Wednesday). We had 8 pieces of luggage, so we stacked it up on three carts. Seth pushed one, I pushed another with Anastasia in the basket, and Marcus pushed the smallest one. I think Mr. Nagi, the ADRA director, was a little worried about how he would fit all our things in his car, but he got it all in! Two pieces had to go on the roof rack, without any straps and not much to hold them in place! I honestly don't know how they didn't slide off. Especially considering the not so smooth road situation. We then, with help, carried all of those 8 50lbs suitcases up 7 flights of stairs! I began wondered if I really needed all this stuff!! Haahaa


We are staying in the girls dorm until such a time as our apartment is ready for us. One must learn with this kind of life, to be flexible. It's not an ideal situation, but really, it's not so bad. We have comfortable beds and air conditioning. We have an amazing panoramic view of the city and the whole campus for the kids to run and play. So, I'm not complaining. We are now on Lebanese time and we must adapt.

The food is absolutely amazing!! Every day we get a chance to taste something new, and let me tell you, if you thought you have had great Lebanese food in the U.S, just come to Beirut and try it! It is out of this world!
 
That is the glowing report for now of our adventure. It's not always going to be glowing, I can tell you that right now. Having already been through this process more than once I know there are many growing moments ahead, some fun, and others not so fun. However, this is all part of taking the leap.